I woke up

I woke up. I couldn’t recognize where I was but I didn’t care much. I only wanted to ask the people around me where my backpack was. Some of them heard me, and tried to find it then disappeared. A person looked like a police officer came to me and asked me a really strange question:
- Why did you race, son?
I didn’t understand what he was talking about. Before I could have time to think about the question, I found myself in a big vehicle, sitting among many people. One man sitting at the front turned around and looked at me. He said:
- You were in a bike race, you know. And you just woke up from the accident.
- What? – I said - That couldn’t be! But where are we going? I can’t see my backpack!
For some reason, at that time my backpack was the only thing I could think of. So he said:
- Do you remember what was going on?
I tried to think so hard. All of my recent memories seemed to be almost faded. I told him:
- I remember being in two different cars. I might know the driver in one of them, and maybe I didn’t know the other driver. But that’s it. I don’t remember any motorbike, and I would never get into a race, you know!
The backpack was on my mind, so when people asked me about the bike race, I ignored them. But now when I tried to remember about the backpack, I ended up talking about the stupid race. The man slightly shook his head and turned away. He didn’t believe me but I didn’t care much.
The vehicle kept running. I after a while realized that sitting next to me was my family. I didn’t ask what they were doing there. Instead I asked:
- What’s the date today?
- 10/23. – My mom said.
- 2009? – I asked, somewhat sarcastic. Of course it should be 2009.
- No… - She answered hesitantly. It’s 2012.

Now what I heard made me stunned. No way! 2012? I had passed out for… years?! Damn…

I had a huge lot of questions in my head, but I didn’t say anything more. I sat there in the vehicle, thinking. It was pretty quiet in there.
I found myself returning back home in Vietnam. The house was hardly the same as the one I had in mind. In fact, it now became much bigger and glamorous. I wandered around and saw my father’s office. For some reason I was trying to find my red and black backpack. Maybe it was the only thing I had with me that I could remember. I saw some backpacks in the office, and they were all red and black. Each of them had a unique feature, but none of them was like mine. I stared at them for a while and left. I felt disappointed. 
I saw a more familiar room in the house. Though it was changed a lot, but I knew it was the room I used to put a lot of books in. Now I saw something else in the cases. I came closer and saw that they were letters and pictures. I saw a couple pictures of me, wearing blue patient clothes sitting on a wheelchair, smiling handsomely at the camera. “I don’t remember doing that. So I did many things unconsciously during these years?” Several years after the accident, all I felt was some pleasant feeling of getting in two different cars. Several years passed by as fast as a couple hours. At least it wasn’t painful.
My parents were behind me. I asked:
- How many years was it?
I never knew why I asked much a question. As if the subtraction of 2012 to 2009 was something impossible – just too impossible to think of.
- You were sleeping a lot. – My mom said.
I took a quick look at my self, seeing nothing wrong. Maybe my body wasn’t like before anymore. I asked them, and my father said:
- No, you got no injury accept a scar on your neck.
I felt a bit relieved. At least it was something. I didn’t have to worry of my brain got cracked or lacking a lung. But I still felt deeply sad. Something deep down in my heart was telling that I still didn’t know what I wanted to know the most.
I saw some cards from my friends from Phu Nhuan High-school. I didn’t read any of them and whispered:
- My girlfriend…

My mom heard that, so she said:

- Heard nothing from her. You kept her as a secret, remember? That’s why I told you that we should have some contacts…

Once again, I asked her:

- How many years was it, mom?
But she left. Somehow she didn’t want to answer it also.
Being alone in the room, I continued thinking about my girlfriend. Wow, hearing nothing from her, huh? This meant that she was disconnected from me on that day. She had heard nothing about me since I got into that freaking accident. That’s alright, I told myself. It wasn’t hard to be disconnected as I thought, since I wasn’t awake anyway. Maybe she now could forget me and move on. But I still had her number. I would call her to let her know that I was alright. It’s that simple.
I came downstairs, my parents were there. No matter what, it was the first time after so many days I woke up. Mom was so happy and we hugged each other. She hugged me so tightly and even… lifted me up high like a little child. I stopped that and looked straight to her eyes, I asked:
- Come on, mom, please answer me. Don’t avoid me anymore. How many years was it?
- Two… years… - She said, looking down to the floor.
Two years. So it had been two years. I knew it. A bike accident, a lost memory, things like that would cause the whole past to be a mess. Even the length couldn’t be calculated by just subtracting the years. I suddenly remembered my school, along with the fall semester I was trying desperately to get through.
- How was my semester, mom? What did they do about it?
- Forget about it, son. Everything was canceled. UCM is no more. If you want, we may find you an international college here in Vietnam.
Her answer struck me down. It helped me remember almost everything. Two years… I should have graduated for now… The Vietnamese students who were studying with me, Cuong and Chi, maybe already finished their degrees. I was left behind. I truly was left out despite of all the efforts I had made all of those years. Two years ago… There were the days I kept fighting so hard, because of my girlfriend. My Arwen, she loved me so much. She loved me so, so much! Now I was standing here, having nothing left. No more my old life, and my love was now disconnected in two years. I shouted out loud, as my mother couldn’t stand it but ran upstairs:
- CANCELED?!! SO WHAT WAS I TRYING FOR? WHY WAS I TRYING TO STUDY HARDER TO GET DONE IN 3.5 YEARS? WHY DIDN’T I JUST STAY HERE IN A FIRST PLACE? WHY…!!!
I was shouting with tears in my face, and my throat was torn so hard that I could barely make any sound.
If I had any wish, I’d wish that nothing like this had had happened. No stupid accident had ever occurred, and I could return back to the day two years ago…

I found myself just woke up, on my bed in the apartment I lived before anything had happened. To put it simply, I woke up from a nap, and it all was just a dream. I found it amazing when my watch showed “10-23-2009”. It was also amazing for me to go to the living room and saw my Korean roommate sleeping there on a couch like he always did. I didn’t have a scar on my neck, and my girlfriend was just chatting with me a day before. I found my daily life simply too amazing.

Of course I could also find my red and black backpack next to my desk easily. I still didn’t know why in the dream I kept looking for it. Maybe it was my companion, something reminds me of my daily life going to school, and holding some big dream of a young college student.

And the dream was just too real, too powerful that I had hard time believing it was just another dream. Maybe, just maybe, things were truly happening like that, before a miracle brought me back. Maybe I was just influenced my some fictional stories. Either way, it was a long adventure; and getting through it helped me realized how wonderful my current life truly was. And I was greatly thankful.