Anastasia is actually alright!!!

It was a rainy evening, and I just came back to my room from work. As usual, I checked my e-mails, and here I saw the most surprising thing I could ever think of: a message saying that a person in Myspace wanted to add me, and it was… Anastasia. ANASTASIA!!! Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I looked at her last name, and it was really hers. And the profile picture, it was her right there. It really was Anastasia, at last…!
How long was it? One year or two years? No, it was forever, since the day she left. Oh my, what a great joy! What a great pain!
Surprisingly, thinking of her still makes me hurt deeply even now. And just like any other time I did, memories just come back to me all at once…
-Anastasia, when you disappeared I was so confused. No one told me anything - any single thing! And I was just nobody but a powerless exchange student. So I just randomly heard Nam asking Chelsea: “Huh, her (some one) died?”, and assumed that it was your brother. And the next morning I asked Petra people to pray for him. (And it was actually Maria’s grandmother who died). Knowing the story, Mr. Baker said, “Well, then keep praying.” How amusing! Painfully amusing indeed.
-Anastasia, the Battle-B team and me had a break-dance show in the end and it was fun, though we screwed up a bit.
-Ana, we did our presentations about the Civil War, and we did really well. I presented mine while drawing a portrait of “Stone wall” Jackson, and it was ok.
-Ana, our house Pendragon have fought splendidly with Avilion that year, thought we lost in the end.
-Ana, we had the Renaissance Fair, and it was awesome. I got second place in drawing and singing with Nam. And my costume too, I made it with some sticky tape…
-Ana, we went to Helena to visit The Houses one day, and the trip was really nice. Everyone was observing and learning things, while I kept looking at the crowds for nothing.
-Ana, we played volleyball in the end of the spring, and it was fantastic.
-Ana, we had a play about Tom Thumb, and we did well in the play and people loved it. Oh, and I was the bailiff…
-Ana, I got only one B (in Mr. V’s class) and the rest were A’s. I graduated in the end, Ana, with a speech that even made some people cry.
-And Anastasia, I became a Christian! I am a Christian, you know, just like you. Oh God!
NO! I don’t want to tell you like these. I can’t. I only wished you had been there, if only you had! Now I don’t even know what to start to tell you with. Days and months have passed by, and things have changed so much. Now you have someone you love, and I am going to have mine. I don’t even know what to start with. We are just strangers now, Anastasia. But you know, the little naive crush of a high school boy two years ago was just too clear as the sky of the day you left, and too deep as the last look I had from your eyes.
I ran out to the rainy night. The sky was crying.

Thank You, my Lord, for that what I have been praying is fulfilled. She is alright after all…

My sweet girl, it’s for you…

One day…

You appeared in my school. You were a cute girl, I thought.

Your name was so strange and difficult for me to remember, but I could remember it at last.
You seated in front of me in our Literature class. I saw you everyday, saw your smiles, and smiled with you.

You were the kind one, who cares about everyone.

You recognized our backpacks had the same color- red.

As a fate, God's Providence or whatever, we were in same school-team, house Pendragon. One day, I tried to do some cheating for our team's point with you, and you refused. At that time, I knew you were a good girl.

I didn't know why, but I drew your face in my common place book, and you saw it. I didn't know if you recognized something or not.

I tried to do something for Pendragon, one reason was you.

I started to break-dance everyday, with the hope I would show you one day.

House competition, everyone tried hard for Pendragon, I tried hard because of you. We won. You said: "Good job!" , and I was so happy. Thank you. You did good job too.

You asked me about my birthday, I did not say. I decided to tell you on that day. I wanted to know yours too. You did not answer.

We were both foreigners. I invited you to go to international dinner. You were so busy to go, you answered.

History project. I tried to help you with some generals' character studies. You said "thank you, you are so smart." I felt happy. Thank you.

You accepted to go to the next international dinner. I was so excited.

I heard from teachers we would have dance-time in that school year. I would ask you to dance, I thought.

I wrote something in the back of your notebook, hopefully you could see it some day.

One day…

After school, you said "I like your coat". I smiled and got home, knew nothing would happen.
The next day, you disappeared, suddenly, without any reason.

Your locker was still there. Your stuffs were still there, as if waiting for you.

They said you moved to other place. But it was not true.

My mother- the school secretary- just said you had something she did not want to tell.
And so I knew nothing. Could not know anything.

I just knew you would never go to the international dinner.

You would never see my writing behind your notebook.

You would never dance with me, even refuse me.

You would never see my break-dance show, if I had one.

You would never tell me your birthday, nor know my birthday, which is today.

You would never return. Never.

Today…

I still here, hoping you'd come back. I try to do something but I can't.

I miss you.

Tomorrow…

I'll forget you, and love someone soon.

You'll never know there is a me like that.

Your stuff'll be here until someone moves them, away with my story about you.

Good bye, my sweet girl!