Hồi Ức Giờ Mới Kể

Mùa thu 2009.

Đây là một khoảng thời gian khó khăn trong cuộc đời sinh viên của tôi. Trong rất nhiều lý do mà tôi có thể nghĩ ra mà trầm ngâm đến hết ngày, thì việc tôi không về Việt Nam đáng nói hơn cả. Đó là một bí mật mà tôi đã giấu kín, phải một thời gian dài sau mới dám chia sẻ cho mọi người. Không kể thì thôi, nếu kể thì cũng dài dòng lắm.

Lúc ấy, tôi dã lên năm ba, cái khỏang thời gian mà mọi dự định đã phải được sắp đặt thật sớm: hè 2010 cố gắng được internship; xuân 2011 tốt nghiệp và đi làm. Vậy nghĩa là mùa đông 2009 là cơ hội tốt nhất/duy nhất để tôi có thể về Việt Nam. Thế rồi Hùng Cường bạn tôi nói rằng hắn sẽ về vào lúc ấy, và giá vé thì đang thật rẻ. Tôi lên mạng tìm, giá chỉ gần $900 (bằng ½ giá vé tôi mua để về hè 2009). Vừa ham giá rẻ, vừa quá nhớ cô người yêu đã một tháng không gặp, tôi mua luôn không chần chừ. Giờ nghĩ lại, tôi vẫn thấy đó là một quyết định đúng, và là một điều đáng mừng. Tôi đã tưởng tượng được trở về vui thế nào, gặp người yêu sẽ mừng ra sao, và bạn bè, gia đình, và mọi thứ của lòng tôi ở đó.

Niềm vui của tôi bị phá tan nhanh chóng. Ba tôi không cho tôi về. Ông nổi giận đùng đùng, quát tháo mẹ tôi om sòm. Ông bảo tôi vừa về đã đòi về nữa; ỷ có nhiều tiền rồi nghĩ tới chuyện về; về rồi lỡ người ta nghĩ nhà mình giàu có này nọ… Ôi, tiền tôi làm ra chứ có phải xin ai? Sao ông chỉ nghĩ những thứ gì đâu cho ai mà không nghĩ cho tôi? Mẹ tôi, đành gạt đi sự muốn tôi về vô cùng của bà mà khuyên tôi không về, sao ông còn cứ làm bà buồn phiền? Tôi đã nghĩ và tự hỏi như thế.

Tôi đã nghĩ ngay đến chuyện về mà ở chỗ khác như không về. (Giờ vẫn thấy như thế thật là tuyệt vời.) Mẹ tôi còn nói, hay là bảo tôi bị… trĩ phải về chữa gấp (o.0!) Nhưng tôi chẳng chọn cách nào và ở lại, giống như tôi được sinh ra không phải để làm những chuyện trái với lòng như vậy. Rồi ba tôi email tôi, hiếm hoi. Ông bảo tôi không có lý do gì để về. “Vì gia đình? Ba không tin lắm. Vì tình yêu? Mình cần nói chuyện.” Tôi không đời nào muốn kể cho ông nghe về người yêu của tôi; tôi chỉ trả lời là tôi sẽ không về, mong ông đừng lo. Câu nói cuối cùng trong email của ông, “nếu không thể không về thì ba nghĩ con kkhông nên quay lại học tiếp làm gì” làm tôi buồn vô hạn.

Thế là tôi không về, và vì mua vé giá rẻ nên không thể refund, tôi mất trắng số tiền đó.  Nhưng tôi không sao, cuộc đời tôi từng trải qua nhiều điều tồi tệ hơn thế, và tôi cũng từng sống với ba tôi cả 17 năm trời. Chỉ thương cho mẹ tôi, khi không tự nhiên có thằng con ở xa mà cũng làm phiền bà nhiều quá.

Rồi tôi thương cho người yêu lúc ấy của tôi. Tội nghiệp em quá. Tôi biết em sẽ còn buồn hơn nếu biết chuyện, thế nên tôi giữ kím đến mãi sau này. Chỉ thỉnh thoảng gặp em trên mạng, em nói em nhớ tôi mà tôi đau lòng.

Về số tiền bị mất, tôi cũng buồn. Mấy năng trời đi học xa cố gắng dành dụm, đùng một cái mất đi nhiều thế không buồn sao được. Thế là tôi lập ra quĩ, gọi là “những thứ đáng lẽ sẽ chi tiêu nếu không mất $863.69.” Khi nào tiết kiệm được khoản nào thì ghi vào đấy, đến khi vượt qua con số đó thì thôi. Nhưng vốn dĩ tôi đã tiết kiệm, nên thỉnh thoảng cũng chỉ là một cái burger hay một món quà vặt vài ba USD.

Rồi cũng vẫn trong mùa thu 2009 ấy, ông ngoại tôi qua đời. thiết nghĩ nếu tôi không về hè 2009 thì đã chẳng gặp được ông lần cuối, để hát cho ông nghe bài hát mà ông yêu thích. Mỗi lần trở về gặp người này người nọ quý vô cùng, khi so sánh với tiền thì vô hạn. Một người không phải đi học xa lâu ngày như ba tôi làm sao có thể hiểu được.

Mà đấy là câu chuyện của tôi mùa thu 2009. Tôi không quá buồn, không quá tiếc, vì tôi biết đó là ý của Chúa, và lý do để việc này hay việc kia xảy ra đều có những lý do mà tôi sẽ mãi chẳng hiểu được. Thỉnh thoảng tôi lại nghĩ, có khi không về lại hơn, vì người yêu tôi dù sẽ rất vui lúc ấy nhưng rồi lại buồn, lại nhớ tôi như vài tháng trước đó. Mùa thu 2009, những điều xảy ra đã hòa quyện vào nhau tạo nên một khoảng thời gian đáng nhớ và cũng đáng quên. Những ngày tháng ấy đã quá dài và đã trôi qua quá chậm.

What Do You Think a "Friend" Is?

I counted to see how many people wrote on my Facebook Wall for my birthday, and there were 105. 105 messages. It was truly amazing, thank you very much.

It’s interesting nonetheless, because if someone gives out a piece of paper and tells me to write 105 names of the people I know, I may not be able to do that. Facebook may as well be one of the most phenomenal products of modern technology. Thanks to Facebook, millions of people around the world realize that they have associated with about 400 people on average. Regarding such matter, even the loneliest dancer in the world dares not to claim his loneliness easily.

Facebook tells me that I currently know at least 481 people – whom are called “friends” – the term “friend” has been overly abused to the point that we can pretty much give out an equation like this:

A Stranger + A Name = A Friend

But it doesn’t matter! I certainly am not too close-minded to deny a friendship, and even a friendship with some whom I have only met for 5 minutes should still be a friendship, because in this vast world of 6.8 billion souls, that specific person and I were meant to walk across each other at that specific moment in our lives, and I really should respect that. But there should be another equation about friendship, which is:

A Friend + Something = A Real Friend

By “real friend” I don’t mean those friends that are empathy or even sacrificial, which I would call “good friends.” My brother Holden has a pretty good definition: real friends are being friend for no other means but for the sake of the friendship itself. I think a real friend is someone to whom you can tell simply what you think without worrying to be poorly thought of. And you, my dearest readers, each of you may very well have a unique definition about what a real friend is; however, none should deny the great amount of time needed to be invested in. My question is, my friends, where in the world do we get this amount of time?

A lonely dancer like I am has 480-ish “friends”, and if it only takes one day to maintain a good friendship with one person for a whole year, I can try my best all years long “getting in touch” and still have to forget more than 115 people (480-365=115). Crazy, isn’t it? But what is it that causes this craziness, the Time itself, the incompetence of humans, or the very nature of a good friendship?

We should never be bored in Heaven, because we’ll have an unlimited amount of time to get to know countless of people, to make good friends with them and to learn about their stories, each of which possesses an immeasurable depth. 

This has been something I have wanted to tell to each of you, my friends: please forgive me for not always being around, laughing and crying with you when needed. I may have to wander with Life forever in this World and therefore can never be as good of a friend as I should. Though I’d never forget any one of you, this may need to wait for later.

I Thought I Had Gone a Long Way

 

These days are my life-changing period. I just walked out from my very last class in my undergrad career (the finals don’t count); then three more days and I’ll become 21. No more classes, no longer being under-aged, how can I keep up with Life as I should?

Right at this moment, I find every second passing by amazing. It is as if there really is something that I should be doing - something big, obvious, and significant. There very well be nothing as such, and it is just a feeling that would be haunting me terribly at certain times. Unreasonably, I feel unsecured, powerless, and lonely. Yet I have no one around, no one to be taken care of, no one to love. Even after all the things I have been through, why is it that I still am by myself mingling pitifully with Life like this? Why is there still nothing for me to lean on to when facing with crises and changes, so that I would be a bit at ease and encouraged? Why is it that I am not happy with all the accomplishments and still am sad when being ignored and hated? And I thought I had gone a long way.

Maybe after all of this time, there really is nothing here in Warrensburg for me and I really should go. Maybe the greater things in Life are yet to come, and I am yet to learn that this world is indeed a good place. Maybe the future holds only unexpected events yet I am at this moment to do nothing but speculate. And maybe I should pray, for it is the one thing for Christians to do at the end as well as at the start. But, it’s just like how a fulfilled person seeking God is wonderful: praying for Him when I have nothing else to do is sad.

Will I possibly become a better person one day...?

 

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Related topics:

Tôi 20 - 2009 birthday post (Vietnamese)

...And then, I changed - 2007 birthday post

Origami Extreme - Part 08!!!

The other day, I came to watch some of my friends performing in the play called The Birds, and it was really fun! So I decided to make another Origami collection; this time it’s about birds – small birds which (supposedly) are all nice and peaceful. Anyway, I love things that fly.

Talking about Origami, I now find myself avoiding overly-complicated models each of which would take days to complete. Instead, I’d go for fairly simple ones which are fast to make and still look really nice. That’s why I like more and more the models of John Montroll: really efficient. 

PART 08: THE LITTLE BIRD 

CURLEW by Tom Defoirdt – I had no idea that a curlew was. I had fun time folding it nonetheless.

EXTINCT BIRD by Nicolas Terry – Mr. Terry always creates unique models. This “bird” was the most challenging for me in this collection.

GORRION SPARROW by Roman Diaz – What?! There are different types of sparrows? I never knew!

HORNED OWL by Hideo Komatsu – The thingy underneath the owl was from another square.

HUMMING BIRD by Peter Engel – A tiny little bird! Actually this Origami version has the size of my wrist.

NIPPONIA NIPPON by Sakasegawa Takashi – Strange birds! Long names! Long author’s name, too! Weird!

PELICAN by John Montroll – I have always been interested in pelicans. They look so happy for some reason.

PENGUIN by Marc Kirschenbaum – I was quite satisfied with the result of this. Definitely my favorite.

SCARLET MACAW by Ashimura Shunichi – A simple parrot is sitting on my glass! Call 911!

SWAN by Manuel Sirgo – Swans are beautiful. I am happy with this one a lot.

So yeah, that’s it for now. I hope you’d enjoy these birds. Thank you!
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Related Topics:

Origami Extreme!!! – Dinosaurs
Origami Extreme – Part 02!!! – Convention
Origami Extreme – Part 03!!! - Dragons
Origami Extreme - Part 04 !!! - The Winged World
Origami Extreme - Part 05 !!! - People of Humanity
Origami Extreme - Part 06 !!! - Dogs
Origami Extreme - Part 07!!! - Cats

Dark and Cold

Would you not sometimes have to wonder what this world has turned into? When the basics of good turn debatable to so many people, would your heart not be sadden? I have recently watched The Invention of Lying, and I feel sad. It was a comedy but I felt great pain: it’s another anti-Christian movie.

Here is the summary of The Invention of Lying: In a world that everyone tells the truth, Mark is an unfortunate man who gets fired, isolated, and kicked out of his apartment. But then he discovers the possibility of telling untrue things and manipulating people with his lies. He gets rich and successful. Many hopeless people when hearing him telling them positive things turn automatically happy and motivated. One day, he tells “lies” to his dying mother about “a life after death” (which sounds just like Heaven). Eventually, he comes up with an entire religion that many people blindly believe in and be corrupted. In the end, he tells the woman he loves how he has been lying and they then get married. 

What now? After defying so many good things in Life, are we now to be convinced that telling lies is good and telling the truth is bad? To make things even worse, the movie ties lies to the words of Moses and further – the words of Jesus. How foolishly clever you are, Hollywood, for now you can tell millions of people that either Christianity is bad or the Christian beliefs are all lies! 

Mark the liar, when more and more people wanted to hear about the life after death, wrote stuffs down on a piece of paper. Then he decided to make what he wrote look better by… writing them on two Domino pizza boxes (that would remind you of Moses’ two tablets.) Then he came out before the world and told people about his made-up religion which was irrational, flawed, but deliberately similar to Christian beliefs. Whoever hates God would really enjoy watching many people cursing and blaming about “the man in the sky” – as Mark portrayed.

Later on in the movie, when his love was not reciprocated, Mark sank in his depression for days. When he reappeared, his hair was long and – to my amazement – he looked like the image of Jesus. The savior of mankind was now equalized to one miserable liar. Just exactly how many more years will our Lord be hated and humiliated? 

The Lord, His words, and His followers’ beliefs have been ridiculed in a quite despicable manner, and it’s amazing how many Americans can just simply laugh it off. “In God we trust,” the people say; they may as well continue with “and at God we laugh.” 

I turn and look through the windows: the sky is pitch black and the air is freezing. It is as if this world is getting only darker and colder. It is as if at this very moment countless of people are laughing and shouting like this: “Hey God, thanks for the good Thanksgiving break with all the good food and shelter, now back off and let us make fun of you!”

Related topic(s):
Dark and Cold
A.R.K.

Update on 11-15-2010

I have recently finished integrating my “Petra” blog to this one (which means I have brought my posts in that blog to this one and kept the dates). It was a time-consuming process and I was amazed.

There were so many posts I had written in my “Petra” blog! It was the time when I maintained two blogs at once, and each for a different set of targeted readers; and I did that for nearly two years! Where did I get all the ideas, the enthusiasm, and the efforts? If there was any time for me to be amazed with myself then this was the time! (Too much for someone who is trying to be humble!)

I also had an opportunity to read all the comments from my Petra people. Those were all great comments that I would forever treasure! Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring them over to this solitude blog. Alas, I missed the time when I could have more than 5 comments for one post!

For so many months I have forgotten the great joy of blogging. Since I only expected my mother and my former girlfriend Arwen to read my blog, what I wrote was something quite different: not necessarily worse, but much less worth-mentioning. And of course, Life has changed; therefore, I have, also. Now it is the time for me to revive my old enthusiasm and go forth. Blogging will now once again be a priority to me – and to impress the “future me” is exciting, too!

A new start

Now it's only me left using this blog. Maybe I should still keep it running like an old habit, or else I might just become another person. It's sad I know; this is like any other part of Life that I have to keep up and carry on.

Maybe I should change the blog's title and the background. Then I will re-upload some of my posts in another long lost blog of mine for the next several weeks. What should I do afterward? I'll continue writing like before, but there will be some changes from now on:

• The contents will lean more on my personal thoughts of Life
• The language will essentially be in English

I'll treat this blog as my closest friend, my life-long companion, a part of myself. And with all of that, I gladly share with anyone who passes my visit.

DK

Disconnected

I came to my room and turned on Facebook. Here I felt something strange. So I typed in your name, and got into your page. Then I realized that we no longer were “friends” on Facebook. I was surprised, and I was hurt.

Did I do something wrong again, girl? What was it that I could possibly do, since now we no longer were lovers? Just more than a week ago, our Facebooks were both saying that we were “in relationship.” Now we are not even “friends.” Now we are disconnected. I was surprised, you know, and I was hurt.

You see, I just simply don’t get it. The day before we said goodbye, you texted me, “Please let me be beside you!” Then the very next day, you said nothing to me but harsh words. Where were the compassions? Where were the empathies? So we broke up. I knew I said it; it was not you but me who said it. But seriously, can’t you ever understand? I was forced to. As a man in our relationship, of course I would always be the one at fault, the one to be blamed at. But you know, I never would say goodbye to you on my own. Things went by fast; I was surprised, and oh my, I was hurt.

Then you said you wanted us to be friends. Let’s be friends, then. The next thing I knew, you disconnected me from your Facebook. This is bitterly humorous.

What have I ever wronged you?

I think you are still young, and way too childish. I think you don’t really know what you are or what you want. Will you one day finally be mature and realize that most of the time I was actually right? That in this entire world, I was possibly the person who loved you the most? But when that day comes, it may be already too late.

Ironically, you will not able to read this. Before, you would visit this page through your account, since you were the co-author. Now you can’t get in, simply because you don’t know the address. The address has always been the same and everyone can get in, you just did not care to notice. As a girlfriend, you took everything I offered as granted and no longer realized that I loved you too, and I cared about you, too. My explanations and my apologies could no longer reach you, and I would stay behind being desperate. I wonder, you were not the first one who left me, why did I still feel so surprised and so hurt?

I really did love you more than you did to me, don’t you think?

May God protect you, girl.

My Irony

I am Vietnamese, and I live among Americans most of whom are either misunderstand or do not know my country and cultures.

I am a Christian, and I live among people who go against my beliefs or focus on misdeeds of other Christians. Why don’t people get it, it’s all about trying to be a good person. And yes, I do believe that trying to be a good person is a good thing.
I am a young Christian, and I live among Christian-from-birth or church-raised people who do not share my struggles. We do not share the same philosophies of environmental sustaining, of “who are to help”, among many others. They don’t see what I see, nor do I to theirs.
I had a girlfriend, and last week we broke up.
I could never have guessed, this Earth can also be as lonely as Heaven.

A Goodbye From DK

This page may be temporarily suspended. I no longer can write something for others to read. What occupies me I cannot share.Therefore, unless Arwen posts her new stuffs, there will be no more update until this life of mine turns better.

This is Goodbye, then. Thank you for all of your supports until now. I gotta go and carry on with Life. My wholehearted apology.

DK

Chàng trai tội nghiệp

Ông bà chủ của một sơn trang nọ có một cô con gái rất xinh xắn đang tuổi cặp kê. Vì một lý do gì đấy, có một đám người xông vào sơn trang, bỏ cô gái ấy vào kiệu rồi khiêng đi. Hai ông bà chủ và người hầu chạy theo kêu gào, van xin họ trả con gái mình lại mà không được. Bỗng từ đâu có một chàng trai to lớn xuất hiện, tấn công lũ cướp người kia làm tụi nó chạy toán loạn. Thấy con gái mình được cứu, hai vợ chồng già biết ơn chàng tráng sĩ vô hạn, mong được giữ chàng lại sơn trang một thời gian. Chàng trai vốn không bà con họ hàng nên cũng vui vẻ nhận lời.

Tráng sĩ không chỉ cao lớn mà sức khỏe cũng hơn người. Bó củi chàng vác trên lưng to bằng 10 lần của người ta, và một bao gạo lớn mà người khác phải vác ì ạch thì chàng mang một lần cả sáu bao nhẹ bưng. Chàng chăm chỉ làm việc và lúc nào cũng cười ha hả, chỉ mỗi tội khi ăn thì ăn rất nhiều, gấp mấy lần người khác. “Ăn nhiều thì làm nhiều mà!” - bà chủ những lúc ấy lại nói khẽ với ông chủ như thế. Thế rồi chẳng bao lâu sau họ quyết định gả con gái mình cho ân nhân. Chàng trai đương nhiên là đồng ý, vì cậu đã phải lòng cô chủ nhà từ lúc nào.

Đám cưới tưng bừng, ai ấy đều rất vui. Bỗng có người chạy đến báo là lũ cướp người hôm nọ giờ trở lại trả thù và rất đông đúc, gươm giáo tua tủa rất kinh. Không ngờ chàng tráng sĩ lại không hề nao núng, bảo mọi người đừng lo rồi đi ra. Một mình cậu lại một lần nữa đánh cho tụi kia chạy tóe khói trước bao ánh mắt ngưỡng mộ của dân làng. Cậu lại trở về, lại cười ha hả và nói mọi người cứ tiếp tục bữa tiệc. Hai ông bà chủ nhìn nhau cười hài lòng, liệu trên thế gian còn có thể kiếm ai tốt hơn như vậy nữa?…

Không biết có ai đọc đến đây đã nhận ra điều gì không, sơn trang ấy là của nhà họ Cao, và chàng trai ấy chính là Trư Bát Giới. Nghĩa là chỉ ít phút sau khi cậu đánh dẹp lũ người xấu và quay trở lại bàn tiệc, gương mặt chú rể bỗng to ra và bíên dạng thành mặt của con heo xấu xí. Mọi người kinh sợ chạy toán loạn, còn hoảng loạn hơn lúc nãy. Chỉ trong vài phút, người anh hùng, người ân nhân vĩ đại, trở thành yêu quái. Lúc Trư Bát Gới về phòng gặp vợ, cô vợ vừa nhìn thấy cũng khiếp vía và bỏ chạy, để lại Bát Giới một mình cố nói với theo: “Nương tử à, là ta đây mà!”

Đương nhiên lúc ấy Trư Bát Giới đang là yêu quái, và đã nhốt tiểu thư họ Cao/vợ mới cưới vào căn lầu và khóa chặt lại. Nhưng khi Tôn Ngộ Không giả làm cô gái kia và ngồi đợi Bát Giới, chúng ta thấy Bát Giới khi xuất hiện vẫn không xông thẳng vào, mà đứng bên ngoài… xin cô Cao cho vào. Tôn Ngộ Không cười khe khé đồng ý, Bát Giới mừng rỡ, chui vào cảm ơn “vợ” rối rít. “Nương tử à,” hắn nói, “chúng ta đã là vợ chồng rồi, mặt mũi ta có thế nào mình cũng nên chấp nhận mà bỏ qua đi thôi.” Vẫn trong hình dạng yêu quái ấy, Bát Giới vẫn đối xử với vợ mình một cách thật nhẹ nhàng và trân trọng. Chẳng phải hắn là một con yêu quái thật đáng yêu hay sao?

Ngẫm đi ngẫm lại, Trư Bát Giới cũng chưa từng làm hại ai (ngoài chuyện nhốt vợ trên lầu và thổ lộ tình cảm với Hằng Nga) và giúp người thì rất nhiều. So với Bát Giới, những người vừa nhìn thấy mặt heo đã ghê tởm và bỏ chạy, quên ngay tình nghĩa trước đó, thì tệ hơn nhiều. Chẳng phải vì những người như nhà họ Cao mà Bát Giới mới phải che đậy hình dáng thật của mình từ ban đầu sao? Bát Giới chẳng phải là một yêu quái rất tội nghiệp sao?

Cuối cùng Tam Tạng cũng gặp được Phật Tổ. Bỏ qua chuyện Tiểu Bạch Long không hề được xơ múi gì thì tôi rất mừng vì Trư Bát Giới đã không hóa Phật. Hắn còn phải trở về Cao sơn trang gặp vợ, và để còn chứng tỏ cho người ta thấy mình dù xấu xí nhưng vẫn tốt như thế nào.

As a Normal Person

Anything which humans have ever achieved, I believe, comes from a dream. Dreams can really be found in almost any place under various forms. To a child, it’s the state of ableness; to an athlete, it’s a passion; to a leader, it’s a vision; to any normal person, it can be any sort of future expectation, the goodness that lies await in the unknown. That’s why when Dr. Martin Luther King was well aware of its true name – a dream, his speech about his dream became everlasting. I am a normal person, someone who has seen his dreams busted over and over and over during the course of growing toward maturity.

Talking about dreams, we’d think of America (“American dream”). Ironically, I have been in America since I was 16 until now when I am nearly being able to buy alcohol legally, and these are the years for someone to develop his/her individuality to its highest. The period of being in America is the period of me witnessing my dreams leaving me at a ridiculous level.

I came to Montana, and a dream of high school got busted. No crowded classes full of pretty girls. No activities nor teams of any sort. No super easy homework that would guarantee easy A’s. My dream left me without any tiniest trace.

The dream of having top colleges inviting me to enroll was then busted. Despite the fact that I had tried my 150% capacity and earned an impossible result in an impossible school, no scholarship was coming to me at all. The one who tried best was nothing better than the biggest slacker.

Even when I got into UCM, I continued dreaming. Well, if my GPA was exceptional, if my performances were remarkable, then huge scholarships and good job offers would come embracing me, right? Unfortunately not, in the harshest way possible. I am here being a senior, and the graduation is drawing near. Yet I still do not see how any of my effort ever gets paid-off, as if for the whole time, I could simply mess around and would as well get through. It never was the matter of trying, it’s that after I try, I’d realize the vanity of my effort and see my dream get busted. Like any other student, there will be job searches, interviews, movings, and busted dreams await.

I can nearly see how my dreams look like: colorful balloons filled with water and still somehow fly high in the sky. When each of them gets pierced by a cold needle, the water would explode and fall down like teardrops. And when I see them I see great sadness.

In the end, all of those just to make me finally realize that I am just a normal person out there, losing sign of the dreams which are now long lost. Then, with this very reason of being normal, I once again see another dream afar. This time it seems bigger and a bit more vivid – as dreams normally would become. And I also see myself running below chasing it, in the most typical manner ever.

The Prince And Me the movie

I happened to watched The Prince and Me this summer. It wasn’t a very popular so it was hard to find. Fortunately, I saw it at the school’s library, so I checked it out immediately. I looked at the movie case, and I knew that this was some kind of movie that I wouldn’t watch – wouldn’t, if it was not because my girlfriend told me that the main character’s somewhat similar to her.

So now I found myself watching the movie, trying to note the similarities I could find, besides trying to enjoy it, of course. Here are my notes:

00:01:40 – She’s ugly. She’s like my girlfriend? Really? Even her personality, I can’t see any similarity. Yet.

00:03:11 – Did she just say “bloody”?! Well, I hope she’s not like my girlfriend.

00:04:14 – Now I realize who she is. The girl in American Pie 4.

00:06:39 – I have a pretty good picture of her now. A good person with a very unlikable personality.

00:07:26 – She didn’t even come out to catch the bride’s flowers? How dry.

00:09:03 – She’s ugly.

00:10:52 – She said that “Shakespeare is so useless”?! Would my girlfriend say that?

00:25:57 – They just met at the lab for the first time and she’s already interested in him? She has a very sensitive heart covered by a tough shell. Exactly the type I call “very fragile”.

00:32:09 – She danced while working? The fact that she doesn’t like Shakespeare, and still likes some music and dances weirdly shows that she’s neglectful with life – living without knowing or finding the meanings of it. She would normally have a hard live. Yeah, normally, when there’s no prince around.

00:33:33 – She gave the prince – her apprentice – compliments. She obviously had had a challenging life, but because of that she could become a good manager.

00:34:23 – She turned down the prince’s request after several seconds of serious hesitation. It’s not easy for her to simply accept what she wants. How sad. Being her lover would be very tiresome and stressful. Not my first choice.

00:40:54 – She couldn’t understand some simple poems. This might be how she’s similar to my girlfriend. Sometimes she couldn’t understand the things that were so obvious to me.

00:47:05 – She has Gus(?), her pet moose. That’s cute. Not as cute as Arwen though.

01:08:28 – She’s saying stuff about the prince during her important medical exam. She had reached her psychotic state because of love. Breaking up would make my girlfriend sad too, unbelievably sad.

01:10:45 – She has a great friend – a truly great one. My girlfriend needs someone like that.

01:23:36 – In the opening ceremony, she shuffled the dirt like a “farm girl”, even though the two people before her did it differently. That’s quite an unwise thing to do. Unnecessary stubbornness should be avoided, Arwen.

∞ - She gave up their love because she wouldn’t be able to do what she wanted? How unthoughtful. How selfish. Only when the prince stepped down and gave in, their love could then remain. This “happy” ending is not satisfactory to me at all, since their love was only with one side being amazing.

Dear, I don’t want to see you in her. I don’t want to see her in you, either.

Origami Extreme - Part 07!!!

This is another Origami collection (oh yeah). It’s been a long time since the last one, so I bet you’re pretty excited. This time, however, is about cats. And for those who don’t know me well enough, I dislike cats. Well, I love Doraemon, Tom, and Garfield, but maybe they’re it! I cannot really tell why I’ve chosen to fold cats this time. Maybe I should learn to do what I don’t enjoy also, for better or worse.

During the time I was working with Origami cats, I have lost my interest in them even further. Looking for good diagrams was as hard as scratching my back, and folding them was also an uneasy task. To be honest, about half of what I folded this time do not look like cats to me. This concludes my ramblings. Let us look at them, shall we?

PART 07: CATS

CAT by Seiji Nishikawa – Simple and nice. It’s a cat by the way.

CAT by Dave Brill – Very challenging you can tell. He looks like a tiger to me, but he really is a cat!

TUBBY CAT by Kimura Yoshihisa – My favorite. So tubby!

CAT by Herman Van Goubergen – It was tricky working with her face and gesture. What a cat!

STALKING CAT by Patricia Crawford – I know he looks like a weasel, don’t need to tell me. The truth is: he is a cat. Why his neck is so long, you ask? Because he is a stalking cat!!!

GATO by J Anibal Voyer – Nice and cute. The best thing is people can tell this is a cat. Or what not.

CAT by Noboru Miyajima – a complex model. Very nice looking cat.

SEATED CAT by Dave Brill – He is not a lion, he is a handsome cat!

GATO by Roman Diaz – Oh my, what we have here? A princess cat! She’s like a mascot of some fashion brand.

CAT by Eric Joisel – The best model of this collection to me. Fairly complicated. Nice face. Awesome posture. Except for the laser cannon-looking tail, he looks indeed like a cat.

BONUS:

This is the most famous CAT model. Even my girlfriend can fold this. Everyone should try!

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Related topics:

Origami Extreme!!! – Dinosaurs
Origami Extreme – Part 02!!! – Convention
Origami Extreme – Part 03!!! - Dragons
Origami Extreme - Part 04 !!! - The Winged World
Origami Extreme - Part 05 !!! - People of Humanity
Origami Extreme - Part 06 !!! - Dogs
Origami Extreme - Part 08 !!! - The Little Birds