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What Do You Think a "Friend" Is?


I counted to see how many people wrote on my Facebook Wall for my birthday, and there were 105. 105 messages. It was truly amazing, thank you very much.

It’s interesting nonetheless, because if someone gives out a piece of paper and tells me to write 105 names of the people I know, I may not be able to do that. Facebook may as well be one of the most phenomenal products of modern technology. Thanks to Facebook, millions of people around the world realize that they have associated with about 400 people on average. Regarding such matter, even the loneliest dancer in the world dares not to claim his loneliness easily.

Facebook tells me that I currently know at least 481 people – whom are called “friends” – the term “friend” has been overly abused to the point that we can pretty much give out an equation like this:

A Stranger + A Name = A Friend

But it doesn’t matter! I certainly am not too close-minded to deny a friendship, and even a friendship with some whom I have only met for 5 minutes should still be a friendship, because in this vast world of 6.8 billion souls, that specific person and I were meant to walk across each other at that specific moment in our lives, and I really should respect that. But there should be another equation about friendship, which is:

A Friend + Something = A Real Friend

By “real friend” I don’t mean those friends that are empathy or even sacrificial, which I would call “good friends.” My brother Holden has a pretty good definition: real friends are being friend for no other means but for the sake of the friendship itself. I think a real friend is someone to whom you can tell simply what you think without worrying to be poorly thought of. And you, my dearest readers, each of you may very well have a unique definition about what a real friend is; however, none should deny the great amount of time needed to be invested in. My question is, my friends, where in the world do we get this amount of time?

A lonely dancer like I am has 480-ish “friends”, and if it only takes one day to maintain a good friendship with one person for a whole year, I can try my best all years long “getting in touch” and still have to forget more than 115 people (480-365=115). Crazy, isn’t it? But what is it that causes this craziness, the Time itself, the incompetence of humans, or the very nature of a good friendship?

We should never be bored in Heaven, because we’ll have an unlimited amount of time to get to know countless of people, to make good friends with them and to learn about their stories, each of which possesses an immeasurable depth. 

This has been something I have wanted to tell to each of you, my friends: please forgive me for not always being around, laughing and crying with you when needed. I may have to wander with Life forever in this World and therefore can never be as good of a friend as I should. Though I’d never forget any one of you, this may need to wait for later.

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