My struggle

I was born in late 20th century, the period that the many historical things had already happened. The war in my country, Vietnam War, was gone years before. Now it's just standing by World War II and others in the gloomy past. How am I supposed to know, to understand all of these?
In Vietnam, I've been taught for years how they happened. I learnt that to destroy the Nazism, the Red Army (Russian) had to fight for many place. Millions of them were killed by the enemies. What they did was much greater than the rest of Allies, and they actually saved the world. V. I. Lenin and Joseph Stalin were great communist leaders.
About my country, I've leant that when the French colonist invaded, many people tried to protect Vietnam but unsuccessfully. And our hero, Ho Chi Minh, appeared. He decided to travel to other countries, to find the right way to protect the country. He alone went to many countries, doing many hard and dangerous jobs to live, as he didn't have any thing. At last, he got the Communist document. Finding it was what he had been searching, he was crying happily.
With his return, Vietnam started connecting with many other Communist countries. With new theories, and friends' help (especially Russia), we succeeded in protecting our country from France, and later, America. Communism and Russia became something so worthy for me. They united weak countries, that we could protect our countries, and duel with others equally.
I came to the US as an exchange student. And, I faced with American history. I started to learn how unbiblical, bloody and terrible the Communism was. I learnt that Stalin was a demon who killed millions of his own people in World War II. And, of course, America was the one who saved the world. Isn't it painful, when you have to write papers saying terrible things about people whom you used to believe as the great heroes? Someone may say: "well, why don't you just write what you really want, and then prove it?" Of course. But dueling with something didn't happen at your time, and books are contradictorily different, is there anything reliable enough for you to prove with?
I will be taught about Vietnam War, again, but americanly. I know my American history teacher will once again smile innocently, and teach us what he was taught, and what read in his books. I will learn how wicked my country was, and how graceful the American was, to come and rescue Vietnam from Communism. And, I will have to write papers with these ideas. I'll have to throw away my belief, my patriotism, in order to have some grades. What is fair? Where is the morality? What kind of jerk will I be? Oh, how painful it will be!
Never can really know what actually happened, nothing can help. Only the pain grows bigger, searching for the cure.

Human Future

We are now staying here, working, earning money. The age of cavemen, in which people working for only food has gone so far. We now need something more. It's entertainment. We need games, we need fashion, we need movies, and much more. For a long time ago, people have been having art. Many kinds of art. And emotions. They make our lives become so colorful, so wonderful, so beautiful, so awesome. But are these pleasurable things everlasting?
I have watched some movies based on some graphic novels illustrated by the Wachowski Brothers, The Matrix Trilogy and V for Vendetta. These movies don't talk directly about future, but not about present, neither. And for me, they are all about future, a future that children born in machines or tubes, and grow up in struggle lives as in the army in wars. What they eat, what they wear are not important. There is no activity but training, fighting, navigating, destroying or being killed. These ideas are familiar to The Terminator, in which humans have to duel with machines, what they created. In these pictures, love and friendship… are treaded. People have to fight for their survivals, day by day. What kind of lives is it? The kind which is even worse than the ancient lives of cavemen! Watching these movies, we could see hazily the emotionless picture of human future, in which people become machines, or even worse, become slaves for machines. There will be no happiness, no love, nothing. Is that the destination, which we are trying, day by day, to have? You know the answer.
It sounds crazy when my discussion is on the evidences of some movies. But based on Picasso, one of the most famous artists in human history, "Art is a lie that makes us realize truth". And I feel what I just said above is not absolutely unreasonable. It could be the truth, the terrible truth that the humanity may unfortunately receive.
So, what is my purpose? Am I trying to tell everyone to entertain more? No. I absolutely don't think so. It's not necessary to have a good conclusion for every discussion, and this is just one personal thought of mine. But the outlook of human future scares me, disappoints me. Our younger generations do not deserve to have it! God bless us!

My sweet girl, it’s for you…

One day…

You appeared in my school. You were a cute girl, I thought.

Your name was so strange and difficult for me to remember, but I could remember it at last.
You seated in front of me in our Literature class. I saw you everyday, saw your smiles, and smiled with you.

You were the kind one, who cares about everyone.

You recognized our backpacks had the same color- red.

As a fate, God's Providence or whatever, we were in same school-team, house Pendragon. One day, I tried to do some cheating for our team's point with you, and you refused. At that time, I knew you were a good girl.

I didn't know why, but I drew your face in my common place book, and you saw it. I didn't know if you recognized something or not.

I tried to do something for Pendragon, one reason was you.

I started to break-dance everyday, with the hope I would show you one day.

House competition, everyone tried hard for Pendragon, I tried hard because of you. We won. You said: "Good job!" , and I was so happy. Thank you. You did good job too.

You asked me about my birthday, I did not say. I decided to tell you on that day. I wanted to know yours too. You did not answer.

We were both foreigners. I invited you to go to international dinner. You were so busy to go, you answered.

History project. I tried to help you with some generals' character studies. You said "thank you, you are so smart." I felt happy. Thank you.

You accepted to go to the next international dinner. I was so excited.

I heard from teachers we would have dance-time in that school year. I would ask you to dance, I thought.

I wrote something in the back of your notebook, hopefully you could see it some day.

One day…

After school, you said "I like your coat". I smiled and got home, knew nothing would happen.
The next day, you disappeared, suddenly, without any reason.

Your locker was still there. Your stuffs were still there, as if waiting for you.

They said you moved to other place. But it was not true.

My mother- the school secretary- just said you had something she did not want to tell.
And so I knew nothing. Could not know anything.

I just knew you would never go to the international dinner.

You would never see my writing behind your notebook.

You would never dance with me, even refuse me.

You would never see my break-dance show, if I had one.

You would never tell me your birthday, nor know my birthday, which is today.

You would never return. Never.

Today…

I still here, hoping you'd come back. I try to do something but I can't.

I miss you.

Tomorrow…

I'll forget you, and love someone soon.

You'll never know there is a me like that.

Your stuff'll be here until someone moves them, away with my story about you.

Good bye, my sweet girl!

Another beginning

 My dearest readers,

This is my fifth blog, in which I’ll put a lot of emotion, hope, and thoughts. I wish this will last long.

I started blog when I turned 17, and my blog has been moved from Myspace to Yahoo!360, briefly stayed at Facebook Note until settled down here at Blogspot.

Contents: diversified (as you can see the labels' list on the right sidebar)
Languages: English and sometimes Vietnamese
Updates: once a week, on weekends.

Please feel free to look around and I hope you'd enjoy. I'd love to have comments and any other kind of feedback. Having some idea of how other people think and feel about what I do is very important to me.

May this blog be blessed.

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This was written on 4/06/09. The date was twisted so that it'd appear to be the first post of this blog, which was true.