I saw waiting at the bus stop in Lawrence, KS, for a Grey Hound bus to get back to OKC to my dear wife. It had taken me 30 minutes to find this “bus stop” because “707 Vermont st.” was NOT a bus station: it was Lawrence Public Library. The place for the buses to stop was across the street from the library where we could see the bus stop signs and the benches for people to sit and wait. The Grey Hound bus was supposed to arrive at 2 PM, but it was delayed until 3:30. So I sat there and waited. I would have no problem waiting for a couple hours: I had my Kindle Fire, my sketch book, and my bottle of water. Little did I know, it wasn’t gonna be just “a couple hours”.
(Some sketches I made while waiting for the bus.)
The GH bus kept being delayed. Every time I checked their website, the expected arrival time would go a bit further out. So I waited and waited. Eventually, I got bored of reading and sketching people walking by. I wanted the wait to be over with.
The bus finally left Kansas City at 5 PM instead of at 1 PM like scheduled, and it would get to Lawrence at 5:40. I was filled with joy. I would finally get to go home!
At 5:40, at lot of buses came to the stop, but none of them were Grey Hound. I tried to make sure I wasn’t missing it because of the other buses blocking my view.
And then I saw the Grey Hound bus, not stopping but driving by. Not driving by Vermont street but the street intersecting with it. And it never turned around to stop at the bus stop. Puzzled, I asked a bus driver of one of the city buses, and he said that the GH buses didn’t stop there. They stopped at another spot around the corner. In another word, the bus didn’t stop at its street address; it stopped at a spot which was hidden from the actual address where the other bus stops were located. After four hours of waiting, I had now missed it.
The sad feeling was too much. There wouldn’t be another bus until the next morning. Lawrence to OKC was about a 5-hour drive. Using a cab would cost me $500 – 600. My wife wanted to come pick me up, and she was 7-month pregnant. I didn’t know what to do or what to think. Having a self-victimized-worthy life, I couldn’t help but felt so sorry for myself. I wanted to cry though no tears came out. I turned to God and shouted,
“Oh God! Why?!”
“Will you please help me?!”
“But of course you won’t. I can’t expect the GH bus to miraculously come back. Of course you won’t.”
Atheists believe that things happen because they simply do, by chances and without meanings or purposes. As a non-atheist, I tend to do the opposite: to expect a reason or a goal to all occurrences. Because God knows a lot more than me. Because He knows what’s best.
“We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” - C.S. Lewis.
I needed to calm down and think. If this misfortune was somehow purposefully the “best”, what was I to think and to do in this situation? Then I remember this quote:
“One of the best questions you can ask when something negative happens is this: ‘What does this experience make possible?’” – Hyatt & Harkavy, Living Forward, p. 513.
Here are some of the things I could think of:
- My wife really wanted to come pick me up. If she started at 7 PM, she would get to me at midnight, and we would be back in OKC around 5 AM. That would not be a good idea. Not talking about the $12 toll fee for each direction, the gas, the damage to our car for driving 10 hours straight. If anything went wrong with my wife and her 7-month pregnancy, that would be the absolute worst, the point of no return, something to never recover from. Therefore, even though this was what we were impulsive to do the most, it was actually the one path we ought not take.
- I personally knew of someone who had cancer and had several years left. But while everyone around him was sorrowful and hopeless, he stayed strong and comforted people, telling them that God was going to take care of everything. Someone who had many years of life taken from him could still have peace and courage; what was I being depressed for when I has merely a day wasted?
- My estranged brother was in Lawrence. I could ask to stay with him for the night and take the morning bus the next day. It would be a rare opportunity to spend time with him. I would have to buy another ticket but so what? $77 was nothing if I took into account the toll fees, the gas money, and having to drive our car for 10 hours straight. This was clearly the best option among all.
I no longer felt sad. A cool wind blew by and I was comforted. I realized that God had started helping me for this event the day He gave me my wife who had been with me on the phone this whole time. He helped me to not be in OKC at midnight were I to not miss the bus. He provided me an opportunity to be with my little brother for an evening. He gave me the ability to go through this event not just unscathed but stronger and braver. He just did not help me by doing the particular thing I came up with using my limited mind (turning the bus around). God had started helping me long before I ever thought of going to Lawrence, and His help was abundant. My hatred toward Grey Hound was replaced with content and thankfulness.
My brother was surprised and happy to have me with him for the night. He made me breakfast and prepared me a jelly and peanut butter sandwich for lunch. I had a restful sleep and woke up at 5 AM like a champ. The morning bus arrived on time, and this time I knew exactly where to expect it.
And this was the end of the story. Here are some lessons I learned/was reminded of:
- Calmly assess the situation. It’s already not good but we don’t want to make it worse. And we have the tendency to jump to the worst decision and make it more disastrous.
- We tend to picture how God could help us and feel so disappointed He doesn’t do that exact thing. This kind of expectation would prevent us from comprehending His true help. It’s pretty much the best way to generate doubts and resentments toward God.
- Broadening the vision can help. Adjusting our perspective to a larger scale. Often in the grand scheme of things, this particular setback is puny and insignificant.
- Misfortunes can be, or can be made into, fortunes in disguise. I now have a good story to tell, don’t I?
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