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May I give up please?

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Sometimes I felt down. For example, right now, I need to prepare so many things to get an internship for the summer, and the Career Expo is getting closer and closer. Getting a job is hard for even a prepared person, and I am not even sure what a “Career Expo” is, or what would happen in there. Will my resume be good enough? Will my elevator speech sound fine enough? If I have an interview, will I be answering the questions well enough? I don’t know yet.

Ok, if I get an internship, I’ll have to buy a car, a used care that is cheap enough and good enough that it wouldn’t just break down in two months. Oh, I don’t have my driver license; I can’t even drive well yet!


How can I manage to practice driving with all of my homework? Five in my six classes require me to work in teams, and the assignments are just abundant. Guess what? A lot of homework is still nice, if that’s all what I have to do. But there is a XB (eXperience-based) class, in which we have to manage absolutely everything, well, a.k.a no one tells us to do anything, which means, I currently have no idea what to do in that class. Sucks? Totally.
I just take three more hours of work for my part-time job, from mid-night till 3 AM. Why would I do that since I already have so much to take care of? Because I need to buy a car (see above) and my precious laptop is dying, and the money I earn always makes me feel good.
It’s been more than three years since I left to the US, but I still feel pretty bad sometimes. Day by day, so many tasks, long-term, mid-term, and short-term, keep coming to my head, and my brain has to process all that desperately. It is bad enough that I can say nothing but complaining to my girlfriend whenever we talk. What will happen in the future if she gets married with a guy who is constantly stressed? I feel sorry for her.
Hey, I want to drop everything down and rest. Giving up is just as tempting as having an icy lemonade in the summer. I want to just go home and meet my people. I want to enjoy my bed at night with no concern or worry. Can I, please?
Lol. I can’t. I have to carry on. It’s just as simple as that.
I’ll pray and I’ll try my best. Struggles, bring it on.

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  1. Dark Knight GMFebruary 20, 2010 at 12:41 AM

    FYI, this post was written a couple weeks ago. Only the emotion is still here, and the issues haven't got over with.

    ReplyDelete

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