(a picture of myself in my dorm room. Taken in my Freshman year, 2007)
College sucks! I wish that no one ever went to college ever.
There was VSO – the Vietnamese Student Organization that I helped created. The people who shared the same first language, my brethren. They always tried to gather and spend good time to fill the holes caused by the away-from-home emptiness. And I hardly joined. Now I wish I had.
There was that girl I met in my Micro Economics class – the one class that I felt I was a super genius who waltzed through the materials while the rest of the class struggled. When we were about done with the class, I finally had gathered enough courage and told her that she looked extremely pretty and good luck on the final. She told me it was very nice of me, and that she was about to transfer to another school far away.
There was a group of International students from South Korea one of which was my roommate. They were so nice they inspired me to learn Korean so that one day I could visit Korea and impress them with my fluency. But it was 4 years ago, and I don’t know how many more years will I be able to do that, and if I can, will anyone in South Korea still care or be excited?
And there was the South Todd people, and the CCH group too. I was always busy trying to take maximum amount of classes and some part-time jobs and finishing up college quickly that I never hung out with them. I graduated in 3.5 years, and already I spent 4 years afterwards in regrets.
The day I graduated, I walked away with a bunch of people that I would miss for the rest of my life that otherwise I would never have known. The feeling kills me for days and months and years that I become a dark-skin emo. What’s up with all of this – meeting many people who would walk away from my life for good: what’s the purpose? Is it so that I could learn to become a better person and be hurt?
I look though the pictures taken with some friends and they make me want to cry. I want to go on Facebook and talk to them, asking them how they are doing and that I miss them so very much. But I cannot. Who still remembers me and wants to talk? What are we gonna say beyond “How have you been?” and “I am well”? And more importantly, what’s the point of doing all this to then simply stop and lose it once again?
How cruel of humanity to come up with such thing as college. How foolish of me to go to graduate school to start that all over again (and get hurt all over).
You know what’s so nice about my Christian faith? It allows me to hope for a possibility of eternal gathering, that I can be with everyone forever.
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