Where can we find the friends who care?
As someone who has been studying abroad for the last 8 years, I have no family to depend on. Both of my families, they are so far away there is nothing they can do. So in order to survive, I seek friends.
I know what a good friend is, and I try to be the best one possible. I go “above and beyond” in friendships like an enthusiastic entrepreneur going about his business. I am there when people need me, offer helps before they ask, and give nice gifts on occasions (and doing other stuff a friend does to – you get the point).
My best friend in school told me that he’s so sad I had to leave in a week, and then spent that last week traveling away with his boyfriend. My lovely American sister to whom I keep sending nice gifts one day finally asked me for my address, only to mail me a sales catalog from her job.
Sometimes I would go down my phone’s contact list and send people text messages. But there will surely never anyone does that back to me. And letters, too. The only people who would feel like sending me things are State Farm, Papa John, and my sister.
My face cries out for attentions. Hello! Can you care about me too? Love me, please!
But my eyes see people walk right by. Everyone has their family to whine on, and their American friends to befriend with. Who needs a peculiar and uncivilized foreigner? All of my feelings, concerns, and efforts turn out to be simply unwanted. “It’s so nice of you to do all that, now move along!”
Should I keep it to myself and put on a nice mask? Should I think that the people I have known so far are apathetic and I should keep looking for “better” ones? Or should I stop caring and trying for others because the only problem here is me loving my friends and caring for them so much? Am I too terrible of a person to be loved? The way I see it, Christians are solemnly marching to Heaven in silence. I try to make conversations with some but no one was interested.
Where do you find the friends who care?
You know it takes time to befriend with someone. I never wanted too many friends. Maybe I'm just more content with my own shit :P To me, friends are people who you can talk your heart out because you know they have a good heart too. You care about them and they also care about you. You are my friend, brother. You know I don't talk much but when we see each other, just need a good handshake and a good hug and we go from there. Don't think too much about this stuff, brother ;)
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