Skip to main content

Sudden death in minutes


When I was on my way to UCM (University of Central Missouri – my current college), I heard people discussing about someone had been shot ‘till died in a church. After that, just a few days form today, one UCM student was attacked and was stolen his money and room key on Pine Street. And yesterday, a guy in frond of me was saying something about another murder…

People are so easy to be killed. And so am I. When will it be my “turn”? I was on that Pine Street at that night, also. If it hadn’t been someone else, it’d have been me properly – means I’d be died by now. Imaging that a blade, or a bullet, was stabbed at me in my back. A few minutes later I’d die. I wonder what would I do in those few minutes?

I’d cry, for sure.

I’d cry for my family. I wouldn’t know what they’d feel when they have known about this. I’d cry that I’d have made them cry, pushed them to the infinite disappointment. It was me that they had poured unhesitatingly their love, perspirations, and hope. It was me that being killed – before I could be a successful businessman as I was supposed. Couldn’t do anything but murmuring: “I’m so sorry!”

I’d cry for other people who love me – thought there’re not many of them. I’d cry that I couldn’t keep my promise to “return”. Though they are in Vietnam or Montana, they’d never receive my love, my caring any more. Sorry my host family. Sorry Dark Force. Sorry PNS. I’d be so sorry.

And I’d cry for Orchid. I’d never be able to let her know how much I love her, how painful to be away from her. She’d never know. Never.

I am still here. I am living, I am alive. I am a survivor.



Our Holy Father,
I thank you to let me live for today.
Please protect me, that I may survive tomorrow.
O Lord, in Your name, I pray. Amen.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How Many Words in This List That You Know?

How are you doing on your readings in general and more specifically in developing your vocabularies? Recently I started reading a book for my Finance class called The End of Wall Street by Roger Lowenstein. In the very first chapter of the book – a short 6-page prologue, there were many words that I did not know, and I am listing them here: destitute somnolent bulwark scrutinize (to) prick quiescent laudatory salient fervent (adj) frothy parlance umbilical (cord) placate carnage plenitude opiate dictum stupendous I was so surprised to see so many new words in such a small amount of pages! How is this Roger Lowenstein guy? You would think that while reading a finance book, the only words you would stumble upon are technical terms or lingos. Or maybe I am just bad. How many words in the list above that you already know?

Fei's Mooncakes

Fei is a Chinese guy at work who is socially awkward. He does not hang out with others, nor does he talk to anyone beyond “Good morning” and “How are you.” It’s not that Fei doesn’t want to: he’s unable to. But he would bring food to us as gifts – Chinese cakes, Chinese candies, Chinese snacks – for Lunar New Years and other Chinese festivals. That’s what people do in Asia as a way to maintain relationships. A social obligation. The Mid-Autumn Festival is near. No one at work besides me, another Asian, knows about this festival. Fei brings mooncakes, a type of round-shaped pastries, to work and gives each of us a box. The packaging looks gorgeous: a red square box with gold patterns depicting a lady dancing next to the moon. Inside is eight round pastries, about two inches in diameter. “Thank you very much!”, I say, as Fei hands me a box. Every day since, Fei comes over to my office and asks if I have tried the mooncakes. I have not, but I will soon, I tell him, feeling slightly guilty

The Ineffectiveness of English

I have interacted with English since kindergarten, and for the last four years I have been living in the US, using solely English for daily communications. Despite my effort of continual self-improving, I can’t quite understand the language. There have been explanations, of course, such as how it’s not my first language, how cultures and traditions get in place… Only recently, it strikes me with a more understandable reason: English is an ineffective language. There are so many disadvantages of English. First of all is the way one person talks to another. You can only use “I” and “you” no matter if the person you’re talking to is an earthworm or a high king. The same with “he”, “she”, “it”, and “they”. All the languages that I have ever associated with, which are French, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Cantonese, they have different words to address different people. I believe this should be the way to talk, since each person requires to be treated with respect, order, and