Bluebellia

It’s nearly midnight right now and I feel bored. I don’t want to do any work; I don’t want to play any game or watch any movie. I don’t even feel like going to bed. What I am to do? It is by no means that I am running low on tasks. Tasks are always there hanging. They keep urging you to prolong this Life and make it perfect. Yet in the midst of all the to-do’s, occasionally I’d feel terribly bored – like right now at this moment. I feel so bored, as if all the motivations and meanings in Life have finally decided to leave me for good, so that I would be lonely and sad. There you have it: I am so lonely and am so sad. I feel hollow and vain like a make-believe fortune cookie, or like a teenager yearning for love and care of a parent. I have been without a family for so long, have been wandering to the point of not having a place to claim my own. Sure, someday I’ll settle down somewhere and call it home. But isn't it extremely painful to have to create it yourself because you