Bluebellia

Right here in front of me The way you stand How you smile right now Will I be able to see them again? That I do not know. Because when time flees My heart and your memories Both will be broken. And I will pretend That we never were that good of friends. Turning on my cell phone I’ll see your numbers Which would never call me again Nor would response if I ever send a text. Only pains would remain And who know what will be next. So I’ll delete your numbers And I will pretend They were never there – ever. I will walk by your rooms And see the same doors At the same locations But there’ll be no more The posters of the environment. And if I ever knock Strangers would come out And I will pretend That I am not shocked And not want to shout Anything out loud. Everything is done Everyone has left But I’m not alone Carrying on A whole new step. --> Like that, I will pretend Till the day I reach my end.

I came to Christian Campus House again this time. I did not know how many times I had come here. Since when? Was it last year? Was it last semester? Or was it that I came in some unconscious mode that, of course, I would not be aware of. I came to CCH to see God. It has long gone the day that I could enjoy this place. Now all of the people there, I do not know them nor they know me. I know their names, even some of their backgrounds. I thought that I knew them, exactly the way they thought about me. But in the end I am just a misfit. How many years have I been here? Four years long. Too long for any person to adapt with the place and the people. I didn’t. The winter is just as cold as the first year I came, even colder. And the people, the Americans, I was smart enough to be friendly and outgoing with them; and now I am smart enough to realize that we are simply different. My English is still not perfect, and my American knowledge is nowhere near a typical American’s. I still d