Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Disconnected



I came to my room and turned on Facebook. Here I felt something strange. So I typed in your name, and got into your page. Then I realized that we no longer were “friends” on Facebook. I was surprised, and I was hurt.

Did I do something wrong again, girl? What was it that I could possibly do, since now we no longer were lovers? Just more than a week ago, our Facebooks were both saying that we were “in relationship.” Now we are not even “friends.” Now we are disconnected. I was surprised, you know, and I was hurt.

You see, I just simply don’t get it. The day before we said goodbye, you texted me, “Please let me be beside you!” Then the very next day, you said nothing to me but harsh words. Where were the compassions? Where were the empathies? So we broke up. I knew I said it; it was not you but me who said it. But seriously, can’t you ever understand? I was forced to. As a man in our relationship, of course I would always be the one at fault, the one to be blamed at. But you know, I never would say goodbye to you on my own. Things went by fast; I was surprised, and oh my, I was hurt.

Then you said you wanted us to be friends. Let’s be friends, then. The next thing I knew, you disconnected me from your Facebook. This is bitterly humorous.

What have I ever wronged you?

I think you are still young, and way too childish. I think you don’t really know what you are or what you want. Will you one day finally be mature and realize that most of the time I was actually right? That in this entire world, I was possibly the person who loved you the most? But when that day comes, it may be already too late.

Ironically, you will not able to read this. Before, you would visit this page through your account, since you were the co-author. Now you can’t get in, simply because you don’t know the address. The address has always been the same and everyone can get in, you just did not care to notice. As a girlfriend, you took everything I offered as granted and no longer realized that I loved you too, and I cared about you, too. My explanations and my apologies could no longer reach you, and I would stay behind being desperate. I wonder, you were not the first one who left me, why did I still feel so surprised and so hurt?

I really did love you more than you did to me, don’t you think?

May God protect you, girl.

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